You don't mean me, do you?
When you're talking to your friends,
How your children are the start and end of every good thing about you.
Not me.
Not me that changed your world,
Not me who's absence hurts,
Not me you notice missing in the masses and the herds,
You don't notice who I am or the uniqueness that I hold,
because while what makes me different is in a hardened shell,
They sparkle and they're gold.
They make it hard for you, I suppose thats why chasing won't get old,
They are angry and frustrated
To you, their hearts have chosen cold,
You don't mean me, do you-
when you say we once are strong,
that you miss where we started,
that you know that you've done wrong
NOT me that you're apologizing to,
Cause how dare I feel offended,
when I was the ONLY one who looked past your choices,
I forgave you that decision and I meant it.
I do the work that they choose to ignore,
Stood by you when you walked out the door,
And i get it, Ive been there- closer than any other of your kids,
But if I had the choice to choose sides I still would have chosen his,
But I loved you through the hurt,
I loved you when it was hard
and even through the darkness,
I helped you while ignoring my own scars
I talked to your kids of forgiveness,
I pushed them to reconsider,
When their hearts were turned against you,
I begged of them- forgive her.
I dealt with family calls,
I death with a broken home,
I fixed the things no one wanted to touch,
because I knew what things had to be done.
I was there, they weren't. I suppose I am still the one that tries-
I guess that is why who you miss at night is my brother and sister
Not I.
So forgive me if I choose I need to go,
forgive me if I think i deserve more,
Because after all of you are done,
It is finally my turn to walk out the door.
None of you have asked how its been for me,
I assume none of you have a clue.
So for all the shit you've put each other through-
You don't mean me, do you?
